Frequently Asked Questions
How do I know you’re the right therapist for me?
This is one of those questions where the answer is partly about training and experience and partly about something much harder to put on a website: how it feels to sit across from someone and talk with them.
You’re welcome to ask me questions, get curious about how I work, and pay attention to whether you feel understood, comfortable enough to be yourself, and maybe even able to laugh once in a while. For the less clinical details: I’m a pasta-maker by night, firmly on team dogs, and believe music can make almost anything a little better.
But how do you really know if I’m your person? Let’s chat. A conversation will tell you much more than another paragraph on my website ever could.
What is your availability?
I offer individual and couples therapy virtually throughout California, with appointments available during morning, afternoon, and evening hours. My clinical schedule is Monday through Thursday, and I do not currently offer Friday or weekend appointments.
Availability can vary, so please reach out to learn more about current openings and scheduling options.
What is your approach to therapy?
Relationship is at the center of how I think about therapy. Whether I’m working with an individual or a couple, I’m paying attention to emotional experience, attachment, and the ways we learn to protect ourselves when something feels threatening, overwhelming, or uncertain.
My work is experiential, which means we won’t only talk about what’s happening. We’ll slow things down, get curious about what happens in real time, and create opportunities to experience something differently, not just understand it differently.
With couples, I primarily use Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to work with the patterns that take over when connection feels threatened. With individuals, my work is grounded in EMDR and Relational EMDR Therapy® (R-EMDR), particularly when past experiences continue to shape how you feel, respond, or relate in the present.
I bring a lot of training to the room, but I also bring myself. Expect curiosity, honesty, warmth, the occasional challenge, and humor when it belongs. Therapy can hold really difficult things without every minute of it needing to feel heavy.
What are some of the goals of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples?
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps couples understand and change the patterns that keep pulling them apart. Rather than focusing only on communication skills or resolving individual disagreements, EFT works with the emotions, attachment needs, and protective responses underneath those moments.
Some of the goals of EFT include:
Recognizing and changing the negative cycle that takes over during moments of disconnection
Understanding the emotions and attachment needs underneath each partner’s reactions
Creating greater emotional safety, accessibility, and responsiveness within the relationship
Helping partners take new emotional risks and reach for one another in different ways
Repairing attachment injuries and rebuilding trust
Increasing closeness, intimacy, and emotional engagement
Developing greater flexibility when conflict, differences, or disconnection arise
Creating new experiences of connection that strengthen the couple’s bond
The goal isn’t to never have conflict. It’s to create a relationship where you can stay connected — or find your way back to one another — when difficult moments happen.
What can I expect in the first session?
The first session is a chance for me to get to know you and begin understanding what brings you to therapy, what feels important right now, and what you’d like to be different.
We’ll talk about relevant history, relationships, current concerns, and what you’re hoping for from our work together. You can ask questions along the way, too.
There’s no pressure to cover everything in one session. My intake process may take a few sessions. We’re beginning to understand the bigger picture and deciding together where it makes sense to start.
For EMDR, assessment and preparation are an important part of the process. We won’t jump straight into reprocessing. We’ll take the time needed to understand what we’re working with and make sure you feel prepared for that part of the work.
How does virtual therapy work?
All of my therapy sessions are currently offered virtually through secure video. You can join from home, your office, or another private space where you feel comfortable talking.
You’ll need a reliable internet connection, a device with a camera and microphone, and enough privacy to be able to engage in the session.
You must be physically located in California at the time of your therapy session.
Can EMDR be done virtually?
Yes. EMDR can be done effectively through telehealth, and I regularly provide EMDR virtually.
We can adapt bilateral stimulation for an online setting using eye movements, tapping, or other forms of bilateral stimulation. Just as with in-person EMDR, we’ll spend time assessing what you’re working with, preparing for reprocessing, and finding an approach that works well for you.
The technology is simply how we meet. The relationship, attunement, pacing, and clinical work are still very much happening in the room, even when the room happens to be online.
What is your cancellation policy?
I reserve your appointment time specifically for you. If you need to cancel or reschedule, please provide at least 24 hours’ notice.
Appointments canceled with less than 24 hours’ notice are subject to a late-cancellation fee of 75% of the session fee, except when otherwise discussed.
I understand that life happens, and unexpected situations come up. If something unusual occurs, please reach out and we can talk about it.
Can you work with me individually and also see us as a couple?
Generally, no. When I work with a couple, the relationship is the focus of our work, and maintaining clear therapeutic roles is important.
I may occasionally meet individually with each partner as part of couples therapy, but those meetings are still in service of the couple’s work. They aren’t individual therapy.
If one partner would benefit from their own ongoing therapy, I can help you think about finding a separate individual therapist so each therapeutic relationship has a clear purpose and boundary.
What if my partner isn’t sure about couples therapy?
That’s okay. Both partners don’t have to arrive equally excited about therapy. It’s pretty common for one person to be more ready, more hopeful, or simply more convinced that therapy is worth trying.
I’m not there to take sides, decide who is right, or convince either of you to stay in the relationship. My job is to help us understand what happens between you, especially in the moments when it becomes difficult to reach one another.
What matters most is that both of you are willing to show up and be curious about what’s happening in your relationship. We can work with the rest from there.
What if we start working together and it doesn’t feel like the right fit?
Therapy is a relationship, and sometimes a therapist who looks like a good fit on paper may not feel like the right fit once you begin working together. You’re always welcome to talk with me about how the work is feeling, including if something isn’t working for you. Those conversations can actually be an important part of therapy.
There may also be times when, as I learn more during the intake process or our work together, I realize that what you need falls outside my scope of practice or areas of clinical competence. If that happens, I’ll be transparent with you and help connect you with clinicians or resources that may be a better fit.
The goal isn’t to make the therapy fit. It’s to make sure you’re getting the care you need.
Do you have a “no secrets” policy when working with couples?
Yes. When I work with a couple, the relationship is my client, and I maintain a no-secrets policy as part of that work.
There may be times when I meet individually with one partner as part of couples therapy. These conversations are still in service of our work with the relationship and are not considered separate individual therapy.
If information comes up that is significant to the couple’s therapy, I won’t hold it indefinitely in a way that requires me to keep a secret from your partner. If something important is disclosed individually, we’ll talk together about how and when it needs to be brought into the couples work.
Do you have a social media policy?
Yes. To protect your privacy, confidentiality, and the boundaries of our therapeutic relationship, I don’t accept friend or follow requests from current or former clients on my personal social media accounts.
Who do you work with?
I work with adults and couples throughout California, with my practice centered around relationships, attachment, and the experiences that shape how we see ourselves and connect with others.
With individuals, I often work with complex trauma, anxiety, attachment wounds, self-worth, relationship patterns, and experiences from the past that continue to feel present, using EMDR and Relational EMDR Therapy® (R-EMDR).
With couples, I specialize in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for partners navigating disconnection, recurring conflict, betrayal or attachment injuries, major transitions, and the desire for greater closeness and security in their relationship.
I also work with couples seeking premarital therapy and support as they build the relationship they want to carry forward.
I do not currently work with children or adolescents.
What’s the best way to contact you?
Email is the best way to reach me: devon@devondubois.com. Because I’m often in session during the day, I’m much easier to catch by email than by phone.
If you’d like to talk before scheduling, send me a brief note about what you’re looking for and your general availability, and we can find a time for a phone consultation. You don’t need to know exactly what kind of therapy you need or have the perfect explanation for why you’re reaching out. A few sentences is plenty and we can figure out the rest together.
A quick privacy note: email is convenient, but it isn’t always a fully secure or confidential form of communication, so please avoid including highly sensitive clinical information in your initial message.
How often should I attend therapy, and how long does it last?
There isn’t one timeline that fits everyone. How often we meet and how long we work together depends on what brings you to therapy, your goals, and what we’re working with along the way.
Many individuals and couples begin with weekly sessions to create consistency and momentum. Over time, we may adjust the frequency as the work progresses and your needs change.
Therapy can be relatively brief or unfold over a longer period of time. We’ll talk openly about what I recommend, how the work is going, and whether our time together continues to feel useful. You’re never signing up for therapy indefinitely.
Can I talk about anything in therapy?
Yes. You get to bring the whole, complicated version of yourself into the room. The things you understand, the things you don’t, the feelings that make perfect sense, and the ones you wish you didn’t have.
You don’t need to organize your thoughts before you arrive or know exactly where to begin. We can be curious together about what comes up, slow down when something feels important, and make room for the parts that may be harder to talk about.
There’s also room for humor, personality, and being an actual human in therapy. Some sessions may feel deep and emotional; others may include a lot of laughter. Usually, there’s room for both.
What can we work on in therapy?
People come to therapy for all kinds of reasons. In my practice, I commonly work with anxiety, trauma and PTSD, attachment wounds, depression, panic, grief and loss, self-worth, relationship patterns, betrayal and attachment injuries, recurring conflict, and emotional disconnection.
Sometimes there’s a clear problem bringing you in. Other times, it’s simply a sense that something isn’t working the way you want it to anymore. We can start there.
If what you’re looking for falls outside my areas of expertise, I’ll be transparent about that and, whenever possible, help connect you with a clinician who may be a better fit. The goal is getting you the right care, not trying to make every concern fit within my practice.
Do we have to explore my childhood or talk about every detail of the past?
Not necessarily. I’m interested in the past because of the ways it may still be showing up in the present. Understanding your history, particularly important relationships, attachment experiences, and experiences that shaped how you learned to see yourself and others, can help us make sense of what is happening now.
That doesn’t mean you’ll need to recount every painful experience in detail. Especially in EMDR, I don’t need a play-by-play of a traumatic memory in order for us to work with it. You get to decide what you share, and we’ll work at a pace that feels manageable.
I do want to understand enough of your story to recognize the experiences and relationships that have shaped you. From there, we can focus on what still carries emotional weight today and help the past become more fully integrated; so it can feel more like something that happened, rather than something you are still living inside of.
Nothing is really “wrong,” but I don’t feel like myself. Can therapy still help?
Absolutely. You don’t need to be in crisis or even know exactly what’s wrong to come to therapy.
Sometimes people reach out because something clearly isn’t working. Other times, it’s harder to name. You might feel more anxious, disconnected, reactive, stuck, or simply less like yourself than you used to. You may even have a life that looks pretty good from the outside and still know that something feels off.
Therapy gives us a place to get curious about that. We can pay attention to what has changed, what might be asking for your attention, and what you need now.
How will I know if therapy is working?
That’s something we’ll pay attention to together. Progress doesn’t always look dramatic, and it can show up differently depending on the kind of work we’re doing.
With EMDR, we’ll regularly check in on the experiences we’re targeting — how distressing they feel now, whether beliefs or emotions have shifted, what you’re noticing in your body, and whether situations in your everyday life are beginning to feel different. We’ll talk about what’s changing and what still needs attention.
With Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), progress often shows up in the relationship itself. You may begin recognizing your cycle sooner, understanding what’s happening underneath your reactions, taking different emotional risks with one another, and finding it easier to reach, respond, or repair. EFT also has a clear roadmap, so I can tell you where I believe we are in the work, what we’re working toward, and what I’m noticing along the way.
And you can always ask me. “Do you think we’re making progress?” is a very welcome therapy question.
What are the fees?
My fee is $245 per 50-minute session. The fee is the same for individual and couples therapy, and payment is made by credit card.
My rate reflects the level of training and specialization I bring to my work, including certification as an ICEEFT Certified EFT Therapist and Supervisor and EMDRIA Certified Therapist™, as well as my ongoing advanced training and consultation.
I recognize that private-pay therapy is a significant financial commitment and may not be accessible to everyone. If my fee is outside of what feels feasible for you, please see the section below for additional options and resources.
What if I can’t afford the full fee?
I reserve a limited number of reduced-fee spaces in my practice. If my standard fee is outside of what feels feasible, you’re welcome to ask about current availability.
Because these spaces are limited, I may not always have an opening. If I’m unable to offer a reduced-fee spot, I’m happy to provide referrals or resources that may help you find care within your budget.
Do you take insurance?
I am an out-of-network provider and do not bill insurance directly. Depending on your plan, you may be eligible for reimbursement for a portion of your therapy fees.
I can provide a superbill for you to submit to your insurance company for possible reimbursement. Because every plan is different, I recommend contacting your insurance provider directly to ask about your out-of-network mental health benefits, deductible, and reimbursement rates.
One important thing to know: insurance reimbursement generally requires a mental health diagnosis. If you plan to use out-of-network benefits, we can talk about what that means before you decide to submit a superbill.
Do you accept Medicare?
I have formally opted out of Medicare and do not bill Medicare for therapy services. If you are a Medicare beneficiary and would like to work with me, we can discuss what private-pay treatment involves and the required Medicare private contract before beginning therapy.
Where is your office located?
My practice is based in San Diego, California, and I currently see all individual and couples therapy clients virtually.
Because therapy is provided via telehealth, you can work with me from anywhere in California — your home, office, or another private space where you feel comfortable.
No San Diego commute required.
How do I get started?
Getting started is simple. Send me an email and tell me a little about what’s bringing you in and your general availability.
We’ll schedule a brief phone consultation so we can connect, talk about what you’re looking for, and see whether working together feels like a good fit.
If it does, we’ll schedule your first session and I’ll send over everything you need beforehand.
Your Right to a Good Faith Estimate
Under the No Surprises Act, individuals who do not have insurance or who choose not to use their insurance to pay for care are generally entitled to receive a Good Faith Estimate explaining the expected cost of services.
A Good Faith Estimate is based on the information available at the time it is created. It may not include unexpected services or costs that could not reasonably have been anticipated, and the actual cost of care may differ from the estimate. A Good Faith Estimate is not a contract and does not require you to receive services from the provider listed on the estimate.
If you receive a bill that is at least $400 more than your Good Faith Estimate, you may be eligible to dispute the bill through the federal patient-provider dispute resolution process. You generally must begin the dispute process within 120 calendar days of the date on the initial bill.
You may also contact your provider directly to discuss the difference between your estimate and the amount billed.
For current information about your rights, eligibility requirements, and the dispute process, visit the Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services (CMS) No Surprises website or call the No Surprises Help Desk at 1-800-985-3059.